Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Revising and examining "Ideas"

"In thinking about a certain idea, many sentences and ideas can be drawn by using detailed words about this idea."

     This quote presents repetitions and a confusing idea but as a whole it is grammatically correct. The sentence's point is lost because of the repetition and other non-descriptive words.  In repeating a word the writer comes across as lazy and the reader has less interest in the piece.  The sentence is also very general and does not produce a concrete and specific thought.  I believe the sentence is attempting to say that when creating a very general idea, the more detailed thoughts put into this creation, the more sentences and paragraphs can be produced.  Even if the writer has a broad idea, the more specific they delve into this hypothesis then the better it can be explained.  Although a decent and thoughtful topic, the writer loses meaning in the sentence by repetition.  

    

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