Chapter 8: Critical Theory in a New Writing Space

Observe: The presentation is done on an all white background. The font is basic and not too risky.  The prezi consists of mostly quotes.  The use of image is minimal, only being one.  It would be nice to have more pictures or video to help prove the point.  There were some grammar mistakes and misspellings.  Also, some of the quotes used were very long and wordy.  The group did a good job of explaining most of the points thoroughly.

Infer:  The chapter looks at writing and how it is authoritative.  Ancient texts were very strong because of their "visual simplicity" and normalcy to them.  Websites introduce a whole new meaning to authority and changeability.  No matter the form of text, the reader decides and deciphers meaning.  No matter the method of writing, reader and writer must meet on common ground.

Question:  Is there a reason you did not use many images or video?
                Does a printed work carry more authority with it then digital text?
                What determines what is authoritative and what isn't?
                Can there be websites that are authoritative?
                Is it necessary for people to read printed work, or does the change to digital writing suit all needs?
                Why is the reader so important?
              

Real Writing

              Looking back on my evolution of writing, it is apparent how much has changed; from storytelling and playful interactions to academic writing and public speaking.  But, there has always been an underlining goal which is to tell how I feel.  Why express something that is fake or not real?  I have learned from my parents that you can never be too outgoing or loud.  Just like the evolution of writing, my telling has changed many forms and personalities.  My audience has also changed and grown with me.  No matter my reason for telling a story or writing a paper, my parents have guided me down my expressive path.  Writing in the dark about the storytelling in my household was much like telling a story; I had to recollect memories in my mind and put them in a fashioned order.  This exercise showed how powerful the recollection of events can be without the lights.  

             My dad  has been the storyteller in my family forever.  I always remember him telling stories around the fire at night after we had dinner.  The story e and my brother always assked him to tell was the one of the babies and the pirates.  This is about babies who give pirates urine when the pirates board their ship and ask for gold.  It would have my brother and I laughing hysterically.  My dad is a very good storyteller because he always gets into it.  Even when we would have big family gatherings with my cousins, uncles and grandparents, he would be the storytelller.
     This story has influenced me positively.  In my family, nothing is ever taken to seriously.  We joke and laugh all the time.  This story turns a scary and intense scene with [pirates and capturing a ship, into a funny and loveable tale.  My dad has always come up with or experienced things that seem crazy.  But, when he tells them, I almost always believe him.  A good storyteller must have a confidence and emotion when telling a story.  This makes for not only a powerful story but also one that is well remembered.  My dad has both of these which makes him a really good orater.

My dad has taught me a lot about communicating verbally and visually.  I have been writing almost my whole life and I think it is finally time to ask, am I a writer?  The word writer carries with it many different meanings.  I write for school, to my friends and on Facebook or other websites.  But, practically everyone then becomes a writer because of the plethora amounts of writing humans do.  I do not think that I am a writer.  To be a writer one must love to write and partake in the activity in their free time.  They must love to create stories, write persuasive essays or free write.  A writer takes a writing assignment much more personally then someone does not consider themselves a writer.  Even though I do not take my writing personally, I do find reason and meaning to write.

I write for many different reasons.  Most of the time, I write because I have to.  Either for school or otherwise, there is constantly something that needs written.  I have trouble getting deeply involved into most of this writing.  But, when something really hits me or generates opinion, then there is a different goal.  My task goes from ‘just getting it done’ to finding a way that truly reads how I feel.  I want to get everything down on the page.  When I strongly feel something, that is when my writing is the most persuasive and its best.  I try to lock onto emotion to whatever I write.  This is not just in writing but in living.  It is easy to find a reason to live if you have strong feeling.  Even if this feeling is anger or sadness, this is enough to get through the day.  Try living a day, month or year without feeling.  There is an emptiness that hits hard.  This is when people give up on living.  When I write without feeling I have the same “give up’ mentality.  I doesn’t matter how I am feeling but I know how to embrace it.  Don’t write anything with fake emotion.  Don’t write anything with no emotion. 

Through the processes of trial and error with my writing, there is a lot that I have learned.  My advice to writers, however, is very simple.  It does not take a lot of effort or long nights.  It does not involve locking yourself in a confined room and trying to write.  My advice is to live.  Go out and experience and see everything you can.  Go to places that seem crazy or wild.  Do things that are embarrassing or stupid.  But not just that, do things like fall in love, or hang out with people you don’t normally hang with.  By living and doing all these things, you have already started writing.  A good writer writes persuasively and with purpose.  They write abstractly and powerfully.  When you begin experiencing life to the fullest, start writing.  By living, you can relate all that you have seen to what you write.  My writing has changed numerously and dramatically overtime, but one factor has always been present and that is to be real.    

The Evolution of Writing

     Over time writing has changed in presentation and word choice.  Original forms of writing consisted on cave walls then slowly evolved to writing on scrolls.  The earliest form of a book, the codex, contained writing on a page left to right with no images.  Images were first seen in writing during medieval times, which has evolved into combining image and text in books, stories and documents.  The materiality of writing has changed numerous times and with it, writing itself.  What was once a stoic and unchanging idea, writing has transformed into something that’s easily accessed and changed.  Writing has not deteriorated or gotten worse over time but instead modified with society and its needs. 

            The way writing has been presented has gone from solely on a page, to images and text viewed simultaneously on a screen.  The layout of writing was basic, simple and easy to understand.  There were words and no images, and the format stayed the same.  This has evolved to images and text working together to form an idea.  Verbal and visual arguments are very different in their presentation, but they work towards the same goal.  These arguments can be seen more or less powerful depending on the objective.  When trying to describe a color, it is best to show the reader that color rather then tell it.  In my “Blue” presentation I was able to create an argument solely of the use of an image.  Just like text, images must be ordered and fixed the right way to produce a quality argument.  Writers have seen through picture books and other medieval writing, that visuals can create an argument.  Nowadays, images are used in almost everything to help describe, decipher and explain topics.  They are being used as more then something to look at but something to help persuade.  Videos are also being shown to help discover a certain point.  People learn in many different ways, some visual, some by reading, some by hearing; these methods are being exploited by writers today.  One can argue that writing has improved because it suits all types of learners.  eBooks and online encyclopedias draw from all sorts of multimedia to explain a topic effectively.  With the internet, these videos, images and texts can be easily and quickly accessed.  Instead of flipping through pages, one can scroll down on a screen and simultaneously glance at images and text.  This gives the reader full control over where he or she wants to go.

            The ancient papyrus roll allowed the reader to follow just one path down the page and end when the writing did not continue.  With the codex and ancient book, and index can be used to pick through where the reader wishes to start and end.  Both of these methods of selective reading are contained within the pages of a book.  What if the reader could control his or her own destiny with infinite possibilities?  These infinite possibilities the reader can access is what Bolter refers to as “hypertext”.  While on the computer, a topic or idea can be clicked by the reader leading them to learn specifically about that thing.  This has allowed writing to no longer be linear; it can go in which ever way it pleases.  The reader now has complete control over where they wish to start and finish when researching a topic.  As Bolter says, “Each topic may participate in several paths, and its significance will depend on which paths the reader has traveled in order to arrive at that topic” (Bolter 35).  At the end of their presentation on Chapter 3, Rita, Jenna and Hannah posed an assignment for the class;  start with the word “cat” on Wikipedia and see how many clicks it takes to end at the word, “machine”.  This project showed how massive and infinite the internet and hypertext can take you.  It also portrayed how close words can be related even though having completely different definitions.  Encyclopedias were originally organized alphabetically in printed text.  With the invention of hypertext and organizing Encyclopedias by topics, readers have much more control over their own destiny.    

            The writing space that a writer has to work with has changed from a single-minded path to a collaborative work.  When reading a book from printed text, the reader has no say or response when finished.  What is written on the page is unchangeable and the reader moves on keeping their opinions to themselves.  This is because writing used to be a special skill that only scholars knew how to do.  Instead of being a shared ability, writing was only for those with high educations and wealth.  This left the room for response very minimal.  Books were also very hard to achieve, because there was no printing machine that produced tons of pages a day, readers were forced to find their own documents.  As a result, fewer products were being read and scrutinized.  Now, the writing space is a mutual territory for both the reader and writer.  With online blogs, bloggers can respond and put out their opinions to the writer.  This allows for writing to be very collaborative.  Since so many more people are able to write and explain their own ideas, feedback is occurring with everything written.  Websites like Facebook or Twitter allow writer and reader to act as one.  Communication has changed tremendously and is something that can occur between two people instantly.  Writing, in effect, has become much more global and worldwide.  People all over the world are voicing their opinions and views with writing.  Facebook, Twitter and blogs also allow users to communicate with images and videos.  Since these are as popular as text to argue a point, websites are making it easy for people to converse in any way possible.  Bolter argues that, “With any technique of writing- on stone or clay, on papyrus or paper, and on the computer screen- the writer may come to regard the mind itself as a writing space” (Bolter 13).  Bolter explains how the presentation is irrelevant for a writer.  How the real writing space is the mind of the reader. 

            With the accessibility of writing increasing, the informality of writing has also grown.  Since websites allow users to communicate back and forth quickly, colloquial writing has formed.  When writing was just known by those with education and stature, formal writing and grammar was the only form.  With more people being in access to these inscriptions, different opinions and words have been created.  The turn and trend to write more colloquially is not a bad thing but a natural change.  With the fast-paced society that surrounds the 21^st century, quick text is necessary.  With schools discouraging informal writing, blogs and websites, like Facebook, encourage it.  It has become essential to understand both forms of the language because of the guidelines set forth by society that encompasses these varieties. 

            With readers controlling their own paths in which they understand information, what is being read has changed tremendously.  When books and scripts were not as accessible, the reader had little choice in what they were going to read.  Now that people can go in any direction on the internet, scholarly subjects are being less noticed.  Bolter describes in Writing Space, “In this century American encyclopedias have cut out scholarly subjects in favor of articles of popular interest in order to maintain the largest possible readership” (Bolter 90).  Since readers are deciding what they view, writers must do the same in what they write.  Before, writers had the choice to write about whatever they wanted because it was the only material printed.  Now, writers must adapt and follow society’s wants and needs.  The relationship between writer and reader has changed so that the reader controls the writer and what he or she produces.  Although the popular sources may be highlighted, the World Wide Web is so vast and widespread that even less noticed scholarly subjects are available.  Encyclopedias now shine light on subjects that are of most interest.  While original Encyclopedias focused on subjects and ideas that were known by writers, not by interest of readers. 

It is apparent that original forms of writing differed greatly from how words are written today.  Papyrus scrolls and codex have turned into blog posts and online encyclopedias.  The presentation of this writing originated with words only, the use of image or video was not accessed.  Since the middle ages, images have been used alongside text to help prove a point.  Sometimes a visual argument is more powerful and persuasive then a verbal one.  Images and videos have also become methods of learning.  Online encyclopedias, books and documents offer different ways to view the material presented.  Hypertext has allowed the viewer to control his or her own path and jump from idea to idea without being confined within a page.  Blogs, and other online websites designed for communication, allow the reader to voice his or her opinions, which 100 years ago was not possible.  Although, with these websites informal writing has become more natural and more used.  With society in full control over what is being written, a textual world consists of reader and writer collaborating together to create full thoughts, and as these ideas have changed before, they will continue to do so

The Electronic Book

     My group focused on Chapter 5 and the electronic book.  We learned about text and how its view has changed overtime.  We decided to begin the prezi with the title of the chapter in large, bold letters.  This was to implant in the viewer's mind our main point of the presentation.  We organized our points in order they were written.  The title of each section was displayed before we moved onto our next point.  By doing this, the points do not seem random and jumping from topic to topic.  Our group combined direct quotes from Bolter and our own ideas.  We wanted the presentation to be original and not all Bolter's points.  The combination of image, video and text served effective for driving our point home.  Image and video enforced the points we made by text very well.
     It was important to begin our presentation by explaining the history of text.  We explained the codex and how it has evolved.  Giving the viewer a background on text is crucial because jumping right into electronic books would leave the viewers confused.  The Middle Ages served as the first time text and image were put together to convey a message.  This evolved into books today that use image and text as well.  Electronic books have taken image and text and added hypertext.  After giving a brief history of encyclopedias, our group explained how electronic encyclopedias use hypertext to organize a vast number of topics effectively.  These encyclopedias can be organized in as many ways as the reader can imagine.
     Electronic books have reinforced what digital text is communicating.  That people can organize their ideas in any which way they please.  With hypertext, one can travel through a sea of information with just a few clicks.  This makes writing and reading easier and faster.  Electronic books have adapted with society, as did printed books when they were first used.  Our group did a good job explaining the use of electronic books; there was not much I would have done differently in our presentation.  By using image, text and video, Alex, Luke and I were able to draw from many different sources to convey how hypertext and the electronic book have evolved with society.

Chapter 6: Refashioned Dialogues

Observe:  This group explained the order of text and how it is important.  They used youtube videos very early in the presentation.  I enjoyed the videos and visuals early because it kept me involved and interested in the prezi.  The videos and images were relevant and put a different spin to the text that normally would not have been read.  Storytelling and how it involves and audience was also evaluated.  The group also discussed graphic design and how communication occurs on the Web.  The groups final points resolved around Plato and Socrates and their discussion that dialogue is better then writing because it is more real and argumentative.

Infer:  Conversation and making sense to an audience is a very important factor in producing text or dialogue.  Text does not have to be linear but can also be scattered.  Printed text, digital text and dialogue all share similar traits; the main being communicating an idea to the reader or viewer.  Expressing an idea is very different written down then if someone were to tell it.  Students are benefiting from the new digital age, as there are many interactions and methods for them to be taught.

Questions:  Do you think it is more or less effective to have text in a linear order?
                  Why did you choose the two pictures of the road and its different directions?
                  Do you believe dialogue is stronger then text?
                  Is the strong use of digital learning methods in schools good or bad for students?
                  Can arguments be as persuasive textually as they are verbally?
                  Are images stronger then they used to be?

Chapter 3: Hypertext and the Remediation of Print

Observe:  This group followed their chapter chronologically and would constantly refer back to the title of the chapter.  This was an effective way to remind the viewer what the main idea is.  The main objective and use of hypertext was constantly enforced.  For the most part this group did a good job of explaining the quotes.  But, some were left without being backed up which left it difficult to understand.  This group did not use pictures or video which was an interesting choice.  But, since Hypertext was the main focus, the absence of image was not hindering.

Infer:  Hypertext is slowly becoming more popular then standard print.  It is quicker and more productive.  Ideas are organized and sorted effectively.  Also, the reader does not have to search for a topic but instead find a link that organizes this content.  In a fast-paced society, this hypertext is becoming more attractive then standard print.

Question:  Does hypertext take away from the "more official" print?
                Do you think hypertext is dangerous? Or does it provide an effective way to find information?
                Do you believe there will be another remediation of print?
                Why did your group decide to not use images or video?
                Why are people complaining about the overuse of hypertext?
                Do you think less prestigious and known documents will be produced because of the diminishing use of standard print?

Chapter 5: The Electronic Book

http://prezi.com/bwypiqgvxdos/the-electronic-book/

Chapter 4: The Breakout of the Visual

Observe:  This group created a prezi on a light blue, comforting background.  The only text that was used were quotes, the group also included pictures and a youtube video.  The presentation showed the differences and similarities of image and text.  They defined and described Moos and other terms thoroughly.  The presentation would have been stronger if the group had went more into detail for their quotes.  Since just quotes were used, it was sometimes confusing and did not make sense without being explained.  The reinforcement of images and youtube video were very effective in conveying the differences between verbal and visual arrangements.

Infer:  Words are slowly being taken over by images.  Many years ago, image was used to back up text but now that has changed.  Newspapers combine image and text to convey a stronger meaning, the World Wide Web has done the same.  Images, in a way, are creating their own alphabet; even words need pictures to reinforce their idea.

Question:  Do you think that pictures are more powerful then words?
                Do you believe that images and visuals will take over text and create a new language?
                Can image or text alone be more persuasive then both together?
                What are the value of MOOs?
                Why did you use only quotes in your presentation?
                Does the use of images suit a certain type of audience or do visuals attract everyone?
              

Free-writing in the Dark

     My dad  as been the storyteller in my family forever.  I always remember him telling stories around the fire at night after we had dinner.  The story e and my brother always assked him to tell was the one of the babies and the pirates.  This is about babies who give pirates urine when the pirates board their ship and ask for gold.  It would have my brother and I laughing hysterically.  My dad is a very good storyteller because he always gets into it.  Even when we would have big family gatherings with my cousins, uncles and grandparents, he would be the storytelller.
     This story has influenced me positively.  In my family, nothing is ever taken to seriously.  We joke and laugh all the time.  This story turns a scary and intense scene with [pirates and capturing a ship, into a funny and loveable tale.  My dad has always come up with or experienced things that seem crazy.  But, when he tells them, I almost always believe him.  A good storyteller must have a confidence and emotion when telling a story.  This makes for not only a powerful story but also one that is well remembered.  My dad has both of these which makes him a really good orater.

Electronic Space vs. Print

     Writing on an electronic space is more flexible and has less boundaries.  There are a plethora of ways to communicate ideas on the internet.  Blogs are a method where writers of all skills can publish and express their views.  With print, only a well-established writer can publish their thoughts for the world to see.  Print also puts boundaries on responding and interacting with a reader.  With the electronic space, responding from viewers is key to a successful and interesting blog or website.  Although it is true that many critics believe that the electronic space hinders writers to write more officially and seriously, the online space allows interaction between reader and writer.

Chapter 2 Response

     Bolter examines different writing methods and how they are inevitably the same.  He claims that no matter writing with a pen, computer or talking a writer attempts to "arrange verbal ideas in a space for later examination by a reader".  The reader may view an idea differently depending on where they view the material but, the writer still communicates this idea the same.  A reader's frame of mind is the real writing space.  It is the area in which the writer must focus on the most.  I agree with Bolter in his claim about writing technologies.  I believe the reader views an idea differently depending on the space.  But, the writer does not and should not view their work any different.

"Bad writing is all flesh, and dirty flesh at that: clogged with a build-up of clutter and crud, knick-knacks and fripperies encrusted on every surface, a kind of gluey scum gathering in the chinks"

     This sentence follows one that explains how good writing is "clean as a bleached bone".  I believe a sentence that is bad does not investigate, analyze or infer but it just observes.  When looking at a person, all you originally see is flesh.  After getting to know who they are and their personality, you see beyond their looks.  Good writing is similar, it must go deeper then just what is on the surface.  Bad writing stuffs the page with wordy, rambling sentences that does not specify or dissect.  

Sample Q

     Sample Q references Blair and Kress and examines both sides of visual and verbal arguments.  The writer uses specific words and gets to the point.  It is an effective paragraph if one were to argue both sides.  But, first off, the paragraph is too long.  It should be broken up into two parts (maybe a paragraph for Kress and one for Blair).  Also, it is not even indented which makes the writing look less professional.  This is important because I do not read the writing as seriously.  Sample Q does not take a strong stance on either side which hurts the writing.  Although it is necessary to state the positives and negatives of visual and verbal arguments, it would be much more effective if they took a strong position.  The sample is also not very personable.  It does not make specific references to the projects we saw in class.  It is a very general paragraph and it would have been a lot better had it been more specific and opinionated.

Writing Space Chapter 1 Response

     "Both as authors and as readers, we still regard books and journals as the place to locate our most prestigous texts".  This statement by Bolter holds much truth to it.  If we look back at the most famous texts, the Bible, the Koran and even the great novels today, they are all written on paper.  The internet is taking away these opportunities for writers and readers.  Although it makes writing more "flexible", it also is dangerous to literature. I agree with Bolter and his statement on printed text.  Bolter effectively conveys this message with understandable text as well as examples from other sources.  People are interested and impressed by the quick moving internet and how reading a document can be down without reading a print.
     Even though it may be dangerous for text to be mainly read on the internet, it is also useful.  Students are using methods to read online that are easier and more relatable to them.  Without these websites, students would find it boring to read most old documents.  The internet has an infinite amount of sources to draw from when studying a print.  Many opinions and alternate texts can be drawn about a specific print.  Bolter explains his views with past happenings.  These explanations make me agree with Bolter and his perspective on what is happening to text.

Problem in describing trees

     The poem begins by describing aspens turning and swaying in the wind of summer.  It is very specific in what actions are taking place.  The writer then reverses and takes a different path.  Hass explains that trees during summer are not at all like this.  They do not necessarily describe and paint a beautiful picture.  "It is good sometimes for poetry to disenchant us".  What is a poem that is not real?  Poems and stories receive more connection and understanding when they are more real and less stereotypical.  The last sentence is very general and allows the reader to trace their experiences and relate them to the poem.  With the visual created in the beginning of the poem, less leeway is given for the reader to create their own world.

Shelley Jackson: The Feminine

     In this section, Jackson examines the word "feminine" and how it applies to writing.  She explains bad writing is clutter, indirect and not to the point.  Good writing is just the opposite, as it is very concise and direct.  The perspective of good and bad writing has changed over time, just like the word feminine.  Literature has deleted these feminine attributions as it is being very effective and to the point.  Hypertext has taken a different point and added a quality to writing that is random and never exact, as it takes a reader off on a tangent.  This hypertext is not a female or male quality but in fact the original feminine definition that was originally used to described poor writing.

Shelley Jackson: Collage

     In this interesting section, Shelley analyzes writers abilities to write what they know.  She claims that writers construct sentences that contain more information then they intend.  That when someone writes a sentence, they understand fully only a portion of it.  This is very true because many works include assumptions or false information when trying to explain a point.  Shelley then explains how a person's most accomplished work in life is the information that they borrow.  In her last sentence Shelley says, "We might think of Lawrence Sterne, who, when accused of plagiarism, answered the charge with an argument that was itself a plagiarism".  She delves into the fact that our knowledge is based off others' information and previous discoveries.

Blue

 When I think of blue, sadness and loneliness comes to mind.  I compiled images of solemn and depressing images with blue tints as to capture the color with the idea.  The song is "The Color of Love" by Boyz II Men.  They sing about how love has different colors.  I see blue as love that is struggling and without hope.  I set up my presentation on powerpoint, each slide being a different picture.  I attempted to use one true media but I had to pay for anything longer then 30 seconds.

Sentences as Babies

     A sentence starts out like a child who has just been born.  So new and basic that you just tend to stare at it.  You watch this child grow older in front of your eyes.  There are times when you might not like your child and maybe wish he or she was never been born.  But, you grow to love this child until you set him or her off in the world to get judged by society.  A sentence is the same way, after much time fixing and revising it, there comes a time where you send it off to an audience.  The sentence and the child will always be yours, if you never let go of it and try and forget it, it will be useless to society.  Although maybe not being seen, there is a binding contract you share with your sentence and wherever it goes, its origin will always remain with you.

Text and Cell Phones

     Today's cell phone has less to do with phone features and more to do with the applications it brings with it.  Society runs tired of inventions that do not change.  The telephone was amazing when it came out but now it is nothing if it does not have text, email and a camera function to go with it.  In the work environment, less face-to-face meetings are being held and more messages are being distributed by means of text.  A phone that does not have a text function can be seen useless today because of societies switch from a personal communication to written communication

Do you think the person who originally made the poem thinks yours is better?
     This is a very interesting question.  This question is raised anytime there is a remake of an original version.  There is always a critic or audience member that needs to know how the original artist felt about the remade work.  I believe Billy Collins is not making fun of or criticizing the original artists work.  I believe he rewrote a funny version of the poem as a way to create homage to the original writing.  The original poet would understand this and find Billy Collins version creative and funny.  If Collins had written a remake that jabs at or makes fun of the original, the first poet might not think so highly of it.  But, I believe Collins payed tribute to the poet while making a fun and enjoyable poem as well.


Do you feel that cliche metaphors are ineffective at conveying strong meaning?
     Billy Collins uses different and unique metaphors to convey his message in his poem.  In the original poem, it begins with a cliche line.  Then, Collins changes the words into his own, non-cliche lyrics to a hysterical poem.  I do not believe that Collins thinks that cliche metaphors are ineffective.  Instead, I think it is in the eye of the reader to decide whether a poem conveys a strong meaning or not.  Poems are meant for people to think and feel.  If one poem allows a person to do these things and another does not, it does not mean that one is more effective then another.  Although, anything if written to much can have less of an effect on people, it is in the eye of the reader that decides a poems meaning. 


Can you relate to this poem in one of your own relationships?
     I believe that every poet uses instances from their own lives to write their poems.  Everyone has relationships that they love, hate or are neutral about.  This poem is about love, everyone has love in their life in one way or another.  The best poems and stories are those that are personal but also relate to society as a whole.  I am sure that Collins had a relationship in his life that he thought about while writing the poem.  There is love in all life which is why this poem was so enjoyed and relatable.

Free Writing

      It is 48 degrees today and I am kind of upset because I thought it was going to be at least 60...It's still pretty warm so I'm not complaining, hopefully I can play football today.  I'm not too excited that I have class at four though because that is usually when everyone would be free.  But, most people are going to be gone by the weekend so football is probably not an option.  It'll be weird not having a lot of people around for the weekend, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.  But, its friday night and I feel alright!  That is from a Montell Jordan song that somehow gets stuck in my head every friday.  To bad I do not have a song for Monday or Tuesday because those are the days I would need a song to get through the day.

"It Gives You Wings"

Things that move me:


1.  A detailed description of a Red Bull can was effective because I get a clear view of what I am about to read about.  It is important to go into detail about a product if you are going to explain its use in society.
2.  I liked the writers paragraph about the Red Bull's audience.  She also threw in a quote from a Red Bull website, which presents credibility
3.  The writer also described how society is constantly stressed and Red Bull provides instant gratification.  This paragraph relates to everyone, and is easy to follow and agree with.
4.  A few paragraphs integrated data from outside resources.  This shows the writer cared about her work and did research on her item.  The data was also used well and effectively in the paragraphs.
5.  The writer seems to have brought a personal touch to the essay.  The paragraphs concerning why people might need Red Bull seemed very personable and close to the writer.
6.  I enjoyed how the writer wrote a paragraph on Drank.  This drink has opposite effects of Red Bull and the writer explained how this drink does not suit our society and why it is not popular.

Things that did not move me:


1.  Many sentences seemed to be run-ons.  The sentences were wordy and the true meaning of the sentence was lost because I was to lost in the wordiness.
2.  There was too much written on the audience that Red Bull portrays itself too.  Although an important part of the essay, the writer went on aimlessly.  Two detailed paragraphs would have been seen more effective and interesting.
3.  Some of the paragraph topics were unclear.  The topic sentences did not always relate to the topic the paragraphs presented.  I was not sure the use for some of the points the writer made.
4.  The sentence and paragraph structures were not well thought out.  Most of the paragraphs were just a few sentences long.  Although good to have small paragraphs, too many and too short can lead to a paper that jumps around ideas too much.
5.  In the writers second to last paragraph, they talk about Red Bull and athletes.  The intense sugar and caffeine content are not good for sports players.  This topic was not believable to me, and therefore not effective.
6.  Some of the sentences in the essay seemed unnecessary.  There was one on how people have joined the Red Bull Facebook page.  This point could have been used well if there was supporting evidence and a strong  paragraph behind it.  But, it was a sentence at the end of a paragraph that did not relate to Facebook.

"Apple's Ipod: I've Got the World on a String"

Things that moved me:

1. I really enjoyed and felt hooked when the writer used data concerning American's use of technology in the first paragraph.  It was a solid intro into the iPod
2. The description of the ipod as it pertains to simplicity was very useful.  Simplicity is also a very good topic to touch on because today's society runs on items that are easy to understand.
3.  In discussing the iPod touch, the writer successfully went into detail about its release and reception.
4.  The linking of iPods to a social necessity was very worthwhile because of how it made me feel more inclined to read on.  Being part of society myself, I read carefully the writers view of what is in style and what is not, and related these ideas to my own.
5.  Most of the writer's topic sentences were very well done.  I felt obliged to read the paragraph because of the hook the topic sentence presented.
6.  The introduction and conclusion paragraphs were very well written summaries.  The writer touched on the important points of the paper without going on ineffectively .

Things that did not move me:


1.  There were many grammar issues in the essay.  The writer's misuse of commas in spots, strayed me away from what I was reading and instead I focused on the grammar.
2.  The writers paragraph concerning podcasting was not effective for me.  I do not know anyone that uses podcast and I believe it is a relatively unpopular application.  The paragraph was not necessary for describing the Ipod's value to society.
3.  The paragraph about the "coolness" of the ipod should have delved into the topic deeper.  Since the main paper question was about an object that has strong effects on society, it would have been better if the writer focused more on the iPod's effects on society.
4.  The conclusion paragraph was over a page long which is too long for a paragraph in a 5 page essay.  Also, since the paragraph was just a conclusion, it should have been much shorter.  It is tough to focus on a paragraph that is that long.
5.  I enjoyed the data in the first paragraph.  It would have been effective and hooking if the writer had used more data and research to relate to the topic.  The iPod has had tons of research that has been done towards  it, and it would have been easy to join this to the paper.
6.  In parenthesis in the title it reads, (Shaped Earphone Chord).  This topic was not raised in the essay.  Also, for the title to have a misspelling is a rough start to a paper for a reader.  People make first impressions, so reading a misspelled and confusing title did not hook me into the essay.

Laptops in Today’s Society

Over the years, laptops have turned from a simple technological advance to a way of life.  Before laptops were invented, people had to be stationary to work on the computer.  With a constant moving and traveling society, staying in one place to work on the computer is impossible.  Technology over time has adapted to fit societal norms.  Laptops have become more then just a way to write and search the internet.  Now, people can blog, listen to music and play games all on one system.  Laptops are taking over as the dominant technology of the human race.  These machines are not just being used by the common worker or student but by police, CIA operatives and other important officials.  This need for laptops to be accessible and useable for many types of jobs, allows companies like IBM, Dell or Apple to create these moving machines to fit very specific and particular tasks.  Although fitting many specific needs, laptops can do almost everything.   Because so much can be done on one machine, this paves clear other competitions that have just a single function.

     IBM is a prominent business that sells laptops.  They have been around since laptops and computers were first put into use.  IBM once had a slogan that read, "I think, therefore IBM".  The slogan is a play on words from the philosophical statement, "I think, therefore I am".  The company uses this famous saying from Descartes to claim that anyone that thinks should have an IBM.  Since everyone thinks and functions with thoughts and ideas, IBM is exclaiming that everyone should own one of their computers.  Also, since everyone has these ideas and wants to share them with the world, what better way then to use a laptop that can help you email, blog, and communicate with others?  This slogan alone shows that laptops have a potential to take over societies way to think in general.

In today’s world everything moves at a fast speed.  People use online banking, for example, because it is faster and saves time.  When walking on the street in a populated area, majority of people are seen rushing; rushing to work, to exercise, to pick up their children or even eat.  Deadlines and being on time is vital in today's society, this makes laptop use extremely popular.  By a few clicks of a button one can be surfing the internet or emailing a report.  Society is setting out rules that revolve around deadlines and being quick but efficient.  With the many job cuts that are being made, a worker must be able to be quick and still generate income.  Laptops are allowing business people to work from anywhere, thus making being efficient a lot easier.    Not only are these laptops used for fast-paced work situations but also for pleasure.  

For children and teenagers, Itunes and other music players offer ways to listen to music on a laptop.  This, mixed with web chatting and blogging websites offers people to express themselves in many ways.  Laptops are of interest and appealing to all ages which makes them one of the most popular advances in technology.  One can sit at home and have all the amenities of leaving the house because with the internet, laptops can access anything.  Why go to Borders when you can read books online?  Why rent a movie at Blockbuster when ordering a movie from Netflix is easier and you don’t have to drive to a store?

In today’s society a computer can do the same if not more work then a person.  With the internet, people can buy books, music, and furniture; basically anything.  Since the laptop has allowed people of all ages to purchase what they need online, there is no need to go to a store.  Although losing a personal touch, buying online is faster and sometimes cheaper then going to a store.  This online shopping is slowly putting more workers out of jobs.  Laptops and computers are picking away at jobs as America finds itself in one of the worst recessions in years.  People are not being lazy, but because of the fast paced society that has developed, humans need to purchase and shop efficiently.  When online shopping first became popular, there were complaints about how there was no help center or worker for a given site.  Now, sites have online workers that make sure the costumer is finding what they need.  Companies are becoming smarter and creating computers that can suit the needs of every costumer.  Thus, computers are not putting companies out of business, just workers. 

Computer companies have adapted to the fast paced society.  When buying a computer there are many offers for warranties and helping how to work the computer.  These are popular because laptops are crowded with every type of application.  These warranties and new applications are ways for computer companies to make money and to help customers.  These applications and warranty options help the consumer save time having to worry about the upkeep of their laptops.  Society is moving at such a fast pace that even the little ways to help people keep up are examined and utilized. 

Companies are not only attempting to help customers, but corporations like IBM are broadening their horizons and creating new and more specific laptops.  In jobs like working for the CIA, FBI or even the Police force, laptops are being used to search for fugitives or convicts on the wanted list.  Programs are being made for the systems to help track and record people.  These computers are also being put to the test in doing research for weapons and bombs.  Laptops can be gateways for the police force to find criminals, but they can also be used in a negative way. 

Although laptops benefit and help keep up with today’s society, there are some flaws to them.  Multiple studies have shown that leaving a laptop on a man’s lap for an extended period of time can “lower sperm counts and reduce chances of fathering a child.”  This expert, taken from a study on Medical News Today, explains the risks of harmful heat a laptop puts off.  According to Dr.Sheynkin, a male’s testicles should maintain a steady temperature.  He claims that laptops can reach to over 70 degrees Celsius which is harmful to the body for a prolonged period of time.  Even though some people are aware of the damages that can be done to the body, they are using laptops regardless to keep up with the fast paced society.  To help prevent lowering sperm counts, one can use their laptops on a table or lap desk.

Another problem with laptops is the misuse of them in school environments.  In an article in the Washington Post, David Cole explains how he constantly faced issues with students not paying attention in class.  With Facebook, Google, and other addicting websites, students with laptops in class spend more time surfing the web and less time focusing on a given lesson.  Cole would ask his students questions and would constantly have the same response, “Could you repeat the question?”  This was not because the student was incapable of hearing or understanding the question but because the student was to busy scanning the internet.  Cole decided to ban computers from his classes and found that 80 percent of his class reported to be more engaged.  The constant distraction the laptop brings with it results in less studious students.  Although being useful to retrieve information and virtually anything else, laptops often serve as a distraction to what is really important in life.

Evolving technology has affected my life and others in many ways.  Since laptops have become vital to succeed in society, morals have become less important.  My dad worked at IBM for over 25 years.  He was a computer salesman, and although he could have been promoted many times, he chose to work at home and stay close to his family.  Last year during the horrible recession, he lost his job with thousands of others.  He was not someone who constantly wanted more and more money but instead kept what was most important to him.  Since technology and computers and laptops have evolved tremendously, they have taken over the workplace.  Instead of needing a human being to do a job, companies are turning to machines to save money.  My family and I were negatively affected by the huge computer advances because companies decided to scratch morals and value money instead.

The evolution of laptops has affected society in many positive and negative ways.  In this fast paced society, people are turning to anything to keep them in pace with the world.  Laptops have slowly evolved into machines that can do almost anything.  For business, laptops are necessary in sending emails, writing reports and doing research on the go.  These machines are also used for people who want entertainment and music.  Applications are constantly being created to fit many different needs and personalities.  Companies like IBM are creating slogans to pull in customers; that their product is a necessity if you are human, (I think, therefore IBM).  Steady help and reinforcement from computer businesses is allowing customers to feel more satisfied with laptops, in turn selling more of the product.  These companies are also making specific models of laptops to fit important government jobs including CIA and FBI.  Laptops and computers also produce negative mental and physical effects.  These include losing sperm count as well as losing students to surfing the web during valuable class time.  My family and many other families have been hurt by the societal turn to computers.  While the advancement of laptops has been positive and necessary in many ways, the damages it has created has left many workers jobless and numerous people too dependent on one object.

Questions for Billy Collins

1. Why do you believe the original poems failed?

2. Do you enjoy stealing/revising others' poems more then writing your own and why?

3. The beginning of the poem sounds religious with "the bread and the wine", was the original poem meant to be religious?

4. Do any of the comparisons you make have any relation to each other?

5. Does the end of the poem and the beginning, with relation to the goblet of wine and bread, have any relation to each other?

6. When comparing yourself to objects instead of the beloved, is it done for humor or are you making a statement about romance or relationships in general?

The Materiality of my Essay

     In my five page paper concerning the usage of laptops, I used standard MLA formatting.  I wrote with 12-point font, Times New Roman and double spacing.  The margins were one and a half inch, and the paper concluded with a works consulted page.  Why use such basic and boring methods to write?  Because society has set standards for everything.
     The paper specifications are based off societal norms.  We live in a world where color is seen as setting certain moods.  When writing a serious paper, a reader should not see what the writer is feeling by visuals.  Instead, the writer should paint a picture with words.  The more professional a paper looks, the easier it is to follow because the reader is less distracted by color or font or how the paper is formatted.  Society has set these rules and by not following them, one can become outcast and less accepted.

Flight of the Kuakas

     Don Stap uses many different techniques to describe and analyze the Kuakas.  He uses very descriptive language to inform the reader about the birds and their environment.  From the first sentence, "In February, at 37 degrees 12 minutes south latitude..."  This puts the reader in an exact location and feel for the story.  Stap writes primarily as a scientist as he uses exact names for the birds and objects.  Using this specific language not only throughly informs the reader but brings them in because the words are able to tell a story.  Some scientists when they write inform readers with nothing but definitions and data.  Although using some definitions and data, Stap educates the readers by incorporating these definitions into a story.
     Stap also understands the difficulty of remembering the bird names, so he effectively italicizes each time he uses Kuaka and Baueri.  This ability to reinforce the readers with information is also done when he includes direct quotes from other scientists on the mission.  Since the article is mainly a scientific diagnosis of the birds, Stap understands the importance of making sure the reader keeps up.  He also describes these other scientists which puts the writing on a more personal level and creates an easier relatable story.  Stap makes a topic I would normally think to be boring and not exciting, interesting and easy to follow with his use of descriptive language.

Metaphors and Definitions in "Don't"

     In this scientific analysis of instant gratification in children, there are a surprising number of metaphors and very few amount of definitions.  In a scientific article one would think many definitions would be used because of the specific and troublesome words that are associated with science.  The author used few definitions and attempted to use more words that were relatable to a wide variety of an audience.  He uses just a few definitions like metacognition which is described as thinking about thinking.  Lehrer tends to use more metaphors like on page 48, "Others start kicking the desk, or tug on their pigtails, or stroke the marshmallow as if it were a tiny stuffed animal".  He also describes how he tells psychologists to think like mechanics.  These are just two of many metaphors in the article.  Lehrer uses these metaphors to relate to a younger audience.  This experiment is important for all ages, which is why Lehrer steers away from big and confusing ideas and sticks to metaphors and easy understanding sentences.

Revising and examining "Ideas"

"In thinking about a certain idea, many sentences and ideas can be drawn by using detailed words about this idea."

     This quote presents repetitions and a confusing idea but as a whole it is grammatically correct. The sentence's point is lost because of the repetition and other non-descriptive words.  In repeating a word the writer comes across as lazy and the reader has less interest in the piece.  The sentence is also very general and does not produce a concrete and specific thought.  I believe the sentence is attempting to say that when creating a very general idea, the more detailed thoughts put into this creation, the more sentences and paragraphs can be produced.  Even if the writer has a broad idea, the more specific they delve into this hypothesis then the better it can be explained.  Although a decent and thoughtful topic, the writer loses meaning in the sentence by repetition.  

    

Editing and Revising "Don't"

"Mischel and his team hope to identify crucial neural circuits that cut across a wide variety of ailments".

     In the article "Don't", the Stanford professor Mischel examines and conducts an experiment involving children and their reactions to temptation.  He gives the young children a choice whether to eat a marshmallow right away or to wait and then have two marshmallows.  The students that chose to take the single marshmallow experienced problems with drugs and the law in life.  Mischel wants to try and find important nerves in the brain and how they react to different situations.  Mischel and his team are hoping to find connections in the nervous system that relate to illness.  By examining these brain issues, the team believes they can find many problems that are caused by a flawed nervous system.  By linking the brain and behavioral traits, Mischel and his team can attempt to find a cure for some of these illnesses.

The need for marshmallows

     Walter Mischel is a psychologist that was in charge of an experiment involving four year old students.  The experiment tested the children on whether they would wait to eat two marshmallows or take just one right away.  The children that chose to wait for the two marshmallows proved to be more successful in life while the children who took the marshmallow right away turned to drugs and poor lives.  The experiment shows the importance of waiting and not needing instant gratification.
     People use drugs to make themselves instantly feel better.  When put into rehab and given time to recuperate, most addicts become sober and refuse drugs.  The successful people who decided to wait for the two marshmallows show that happiness and success come in patience and waiting.  Although hard to believe that a child's decision to wait for two marshmallows decides their success in life, it no doubt proves that needing instant gratification is a bad and harmful way to live your life.

Laptops and their importance to society

     Over the years laptops have turned from a simple technological advance to a way of life.  Before laptops were invented, people had to be stationary to work on the computer.  With a constant moving and traveling society, staying in one place to work on the computer is impossible.  Technology over the times have adapted to fit societal norms.  Laptops have become more then just a way to write and search the internet.  Now, people can blog, listen to music and play games all on one system.  Laptops are taking over as the dominant technology of the human race.  Because so much can be done on one machine, this paves clear other competitions that can just run one power of the laptop.
     IBM is a prominent business that sells laptops.  They have been around since laptops and computers were first put into use.  IBM once had a slogan that read, "I think, therefore IBM".  The slogan is a play on words from the philosophical statement, "I think, therefore I am".  IBM uses this famous saying from Descartes to claim that anyone that thinks should have an IBM.  Since everyone thinks and functions with thoughts and ideas, IBM is exclaiming that everyone should own an IBM.  Also, since everyone has these ideas and wants to share them with the world, what better way then to use a laptop that can help you email, blog, and communicate with others.  This slogan alone shows that laptops have a potential to take over societies way to think in general.
     In todays world everything moves at a fast speed.  People use online banking for example because its faster and saves time.  Walking on the street in a populated area majority of people are seen rushing; rushing to work, to exercise, to pick up their children or even eat.  Deadlines and being on time is vital in today's society, this makes laptop use extremely popular.  By a few clicks of a button one can be surfing the internet or emailing a report.  Not only are these laptops used for fast-paced work situations but also for pleasure.  For children and teenagers, itunes and other music players offer ways to listen to music on a laptop.  This mixed with web chatting and blogging websites offers people to express themselves in many ways.  Laptops are of interest and appealing to all ages which makes them one of the most popular advances in technology.
     Computer companies have adapted to the fast paced society.  When buying a computer there are many offers for warranties and helping how to work the computer.  These are popular because laptops are crowded with every type of application.  These warranties and new applications are ways for computer companies to make money and to help customers.  These applications and warranty options help the consumer save time having to worry about the upkeep of their laptops.  Society is moving at such a fast pace that even the little ways to help people keep up are examined and utilized.
      

You Can Shine

     The Pantene commercial I viewed in class consisting of a deaf violin player and a rival, ended with the slogan, "You Can Shine".  Our group dissected this saying and found the core reasons behind its use.  Pantene, being a shampoo product, is shown to make a person's hair shine.  The girl finishes the commercial moving violently playing the violin while her hair flies along shining.  The slogan also directly relates to the girl shining as a person.  Every person has their own way they shine, and this girl needed to break away from society.  She is criticized by others because she is deaf.  She asks a poor man who is also deaf, why she can't be like others.  She slowly realizes that she does not need to be like anybody but her own person.  By realizing her own freedom and the importance of her self, she is able to be praised and applauded at the end of the commercial.
    
     In the Pantene commercial there are other instances where shining as a theme occurs.  The protagonist meets a deaf man who plays violin as what appears to be a street performer.  He is shown with a camera circling around him to show how the entire audience watching him enjoys his performance.  It is apparent by his clothing and appearance that he is of the lower class and maybe even homeless.  He is able to teach the protagonist that despite facing hardships, you can still strive in an environment by expressing yourself.  The man is a direct opposite as the girl that bullies and makes fun of the protagonist.  Her hair is pulled up in a bun, showing she does not think freely.  This closed minded person does not see the protagonist as another person but as someone less of value because of her deafness.  In the final performance, the antagonist girl is seen playing a good piece on the piano but with little emotion.  When the protagonist plays her violin with her flare and emotions the audience is stunned and greet her with standing ovation.  The single minded piano player contrasts the man and the protagonist because of her lacking ability to shine through her feelings.

     Imagery in the Pantene commercial plays a very important role in communicating the main message.  As the protagonist progresses through the commercial she is shown shining in different ways.  While she plays music, clips of her running through fields freely are shown.  This freedom is needed for her to succeed as a musician and she is rewarded by a stunned and loving audience.  Her breaking out of a shell of self-consciousness is very similar to the butterflies that are shown with her running in the fields.  They too must break out of a cocoon and be strong to free themselves for good.  The dying of her mentor towards the end of the commercial and her ability to continuously succeed shows her total independence from even her biggest crutch.  As she out shines her rival in the final performance, she not only is then believed in by others but by herself as well, which is the most important of all.

Materialities of Writing

My first thoughts,

It was different writing an essay in crayon because I felt it harder to get my ideas on the page.  The colored crayons distracted me while writing and I found it harder to write more sophisticated.  Also, not having a spell check was tough to deal with as I felt that I spelled many things wrong.  Even though the task seemed difficult, I found myself writing a little more creatively.  The colors would brighten up my mind and make me think differently and more outside the box.  Unfortunately, I do feel that my writing grammatically and structurally suffered some because of the crayons.  It was tedious and definitely uncomfortable which made me have a tougher time explaining my ideas thoroughly on the page.  Although awkward and tedious, I enjoyed the assignment because it was fun and helped me think outside the box.  I felt that If the assignment was a creative writing assignment then I would feel very comfortable writing in colored crayons.  With the crayons I felt that I needed to do more artwork then writing, which made it difficult to write a serious response to a poem.

A Culture With Only Crayons,

With only crayons as writing implements, peoples true colors and personalities would show.  With a generic MLA formatted paper, boundaries are set and no aspects of a person's feelings or personalities are shown except for in the writing itself.  By combining art and writing, a person's thoughts and ideas are expressed through how they decide to set up the paper and the colors they use. The society we live in today consists of many different ways and materials to write, but people stick to the computer and typing.  Writing with crayons, markers and other colored implements are seen as unprofessional and childish.  Not only that, people in today's society would quickly become annoyed and impatient with only using crayons.

Writing Implements,


Depending on what writing implement a person uses, much can be said about a person's personality.  I would like to explore more about writing creatively with different writing implements like markers, chalk and more about crayons.  By using these different implements, I can write more creatively.  But, the most important aspect of writing is getting your point across to the reader.  So by being able to successfully get a strong point across with any writing implement, a person that is a decent writer becomes a believable and great writer.  The writing space did not pose much of an issue for me as it did not effect my content.  I did feel obliged to fill up the space so I wrote a little bigger which created an awkwardness and made me feel more uncomfortable. If I had to write and produce work on a large or different sized paper frequently I would slowly get inpatient and frustrated with the writing and it would eventually have an effect on my content.